The Idiot Box

Channel Surfing
An idyllic day as it is today...as were the last 18 months, I decide to catch up on the latest on the idiot box.

Channel 1: DD1
Ironical isnt it. Have seen this in almost all TV homes. No one watches DD, but it occupies the No. 1 channel position.

Move over...
The next two channels have nearly the same color, look, sets , people. All of them in lush bungalows, suits and rich sarees even as they wake up or go to sleep, and each one of the sobbing.
Welcome to the STAR TV and ZEE!
Change!
Channel 4: SONY
One kiddo sings. The 3 judges applaud. One of them goes up the stage and lifts him up.
Tu jab bada hoga main apni film main tujhe gaana doonga.
Ironically, this music director himself has composed for only 1 film in the last 2 years!
Change!


The remote button is twitching...asking for a break, but I go on...the down arrow button under stress.

Channel 7: Jungle in the background, a cheetah towering over a stag. This one keeps me hooked on for a while. I watch the poor stag run down and carnal pleasure obtained!
Next!

Channel 8: Another forest, another chase, no this time its a snake. Im reminded of the great Steve Irvin, the crocodile hunter. A 10 sec silence for the brave man!
10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1
Next!
National Geography, History, Travel n Living all breezed through. I enjoy travelling a lot, but hate to watch someone doing the traveling and commentary for us!

Im getting increasingly bored now. Is there nothing to watch.
Channel 12: Ok some information now! The news. NDTV 24 7
Sensex rises! 200 points.
Change
Channel 13: AAJ TAK
Sensex falls!
Change
Channel 14: CNBC
Sensex rises again!
After sweeping through the news channels, finally at channel 18, SEBI has halted trading due to stock market upheaval.

Disclaimer: To all my FINANCE oriented friends- Any reference to Fin facts and logic is purely coincidental and illogical.

Channel 19: Oh! Another news channel...Some India TV
Okie, I will wait here...

BREAKING NEWS:" KON HAI JISNE SAURAV GANGULY KE PEETH MAIN CHURA DAALA HAI"
oops, looks like a breaking news. I have to see this channel now. I wait!
"KON HAI JISNE DADA KO TEAM SE NIKAALA"
"KON HAI JISNE DADA KE EHSAANO KA YEH SILA DIYA"
Im restless...break it dude! break it!
"WOH AUR KOI NAHI...
WOH HAI APNA MAAHI"
"AAKHIR KYU KIYA DHONI NE AISI ANHONI"

INDIA TV, i realised thereafter is the worst news channel in the Indian satellite space. I deleted the channel from my menu.
Next in line are the sports channels

For some strange reason, our cable guy feeds only 2 channels, watever be the sporting activity.
ESPN: Sachin cuts, Sachin pulls. Sachin straight drives. Its the same highlights, I have seen 15 times. Ind vs Eng, 2002-03 Headingly test. Sachin 193. Naa, not the right time.
Change
TEN SPORTS: WWF or WWE. Was hooked on to this voilence during the time of Hitman and Tatanka. Not any more.

Switching over, I finally found solace in the next set of music channels.
AAA! some respite.
Channel 20: Channel [V]
BREAK
Channel 21: MTV
BREAK
Channel 22: ZOOM
Mauja hi Mauja
BREAK
Dard e Disco
BREAK
Khwaaja mere Kwaaja
BREAK

Too many breaks yaar! Im out of the songs set as well.
Channel 24: Now comes the movie zone
HBO: Some Black n White
STAR MOVIES: Some kissing scene....okie...hold on...
The moment the scene is over,I switch
STAR GOLD: SUNNY DEOL screeeeeming!!! Wheres the volume.
Down..Dwon...Down...no effect!!
MUTE!!!
Still I can hear a murmur...Sunny Deol is still audible!

Change:
Zee Cinema: Aaa!! The only channel at your rescue!!
Guess wat movie is on right now
My favorite: ANDAZ APNA APNA
Do dost ek hi pyaale main chai peeyenge. Isse dosti badhti hai.
Ab maine remote side pe rakha, aur coke, lays...lays nahi Bingo aur TV.

P.S. This post dedicated to DGrail for urging me to write one today.