Chapter 6: Printout drama

We needed the signatures of the project guide on the letterhead. So , we went to our manager for the letterhead.
ideally one would take the letterhead, get the matter printed and then take the necessary signatures. But we belong from mars. Hume har cheez alag tareeke se karna hai.

Atul: Sir, we do not have the matter ready to be printed on the letterhead. So, if you could also put your signature at the bottom of the page it would be great.
Andy: Also, Sir there is a specific format in which that letter needs to be typed.
PM: But you can always come with the ready letter. I will sign it later.
Atul: Yes sir...
Andy: abey kyaaa yes Sir. baadme kon aayega wapis. abhi sab karwa dete hai
Andy: Sir, since we need to submit the report tomorrow itself, we thought it would be easier for the binding etc. We will show you the final version before we submit all copies.
PM: Arre...but I can sign then as well....
The phone rings...his mood gets irritating.
PM: Okie...I neways need to go out today...so I guess I will sign it. But please do not use my signatures for any wrong purpose. Who knows you will write something else in that report. HAHHAAHHA
Only he laughed...

We got the signature on the letterhead. By lunch Nimit and Sid had worked on the report and the certificate of approval content. It was time to take the printout.
We only had one letterhead, with the necessary signatures. One final printout and the report was ready to be taken to IIT for binding etc.

Nimit: oye, mein print deta hun...tu and Andy jaake print nikaalo
Atul: chal Andy
Sid: mein bhi aaou kya
Nimit: yahin baithh...wahan printer ke paas tp karne jaa mat. iska formating mein help kar
Andy: saala kaamchor!

Me and Andy reach the printer.
Both look at the machine with the gaze of a villager at the sight of the zooming maruti 800.
I have the sheet with me. I look at it once...glance towards the printer. Again focus on the signature and that side of the page.

Atul: Andy...kaise karnega.
Andy: simple hai re...is paper ko daalte hai...Nimit print dega...bahar aayega direct
Atul: par konse side se aayega
Andy: arre...right side se aayega...tu paper de mereko
Andy took the paper put it inside and was about to instruct Nimit to click enter on the print command.
Atul: abey ruk!
Andy: kya hau...
Atul: ek test paper daal ke dekhte hai..konse side se aata hai
Andy: arre haan...yeh bhi right hai...waise bhi main paper main masti nahi kar sakte.
I take a blank paper...and pass it on to Andy
Andy: chal isko daalta hun main. Nimit...print kar

the paper is out after 5 secs.
Atul: abey tune kuch mark kiya tha kya...konse side se paperdaala...aur kis side pe print hua...
Andy: hailaa nahi :(
Atul: chuu saala....fir faayda kya hua blank paper ka. Ruk mein karta hun
I took another blank paper...marked an A on the top left...and inserted it into the prnter.
Atul: Nimit...print
Nimit is suspicious already but decides to mind his business. Sid is busy glancing at Ms. P. She's looking rather hot on a Friday "casual" afternoon. No wonder our guide Mr. R is cicrcling around her. While I was having a look at Ms. P my concentation...on her was rock solid...and the printer sound woke me up.
Atul: yeh raha...is side se print hua...jahan A mark kiya uske opposite.
Andy: kool...tune paper dala kis side se tha...
Atul: err...
Andy: haan?
Atul: abey bhool gaya...woh Ms. P kya lag rahi hai dekh.
Andy: haan be...usse baat karte hai aaj...project ke baare main thoda fekenge
Nimit's voice disturbs us once again
Nimit: hoagyaa kyaa?
Atul: nahi be...ek min. ruk na..kitna important page print karna hai...poora page setup dekhne de barabar se.
Now, behind us 2 employees are waiting to have their sheets printed as well...so..we let them take the prints.
Nimit: abey lunch time hogaya be...jaldi karo...
Andy: abey tujhe yaad nahi hai kya...kis side se daala tha
Atul: I think mark wala part peeche ke taraf tha...
Andy: yeh mark kya hai...
Atul: teja main hun...mark idhar hai...
Andy: hahahaa....abey nimit bahadak raha hai...is side se daalte hai...maine dekha tha...whohi right side hai
Atul: theek hai to agar ise paper daala...to print letterhead ke side pe hi hoga.
I did an entire action of the printing prcess bending my back forward as if I was being printed.
Andy: chal sahi hai...main paper daal deta hun
Atul: Nimit...thumbs up...final print...

The printer starts to rearrange...the dot matrix printer at work...the paper is on its way out..me and Andy are tense...waiting to see the output...
Suddenly Nimit joins us. Befre we could take the paper, he plucks it out...

:(
The matter is printed on the backside of the letterhead.

Have you ever failed in a test!!!

Have you ever failed in a test!!!

I came across this question recently. I would have laughed off...mocked at the poor souls who had missed to get the proverbial 35 (in school) 40 (in engg) and 50(in MBA).
But just before I could laugh Adv. Supply Chain management comes straight into my face and puts an "F" grade next to my name.

Not the person to fret and lose sleep over this, unlike Mainaakda ;), I decided to take a flashback of my earlier attempts to reach the F grade.

In school....the closest I came was once getting 56/100, with passing marks as 35. I was kind of a padhaku back then...so, inspite of once studying Geometry for the Geography test, I managed to get 8/15 and passed the sad unit test.

Then came junior college...My first interaction with girls...(my dad took badla on me right when I was in school. he put me into an all-boys). So, in order to pataofy I got a whopping 75% + in my 1st term exam of Std XIth. I then realised that the people with 50-60s were considered cool dudes. Threw away the books...and did well to scale down to the mid-60s. But still...did not fail.

Engineering was fun. Semester -1. We were used to scoring 90s 95s in HSC. Thought, Engg. was also similar. The 1st paper was I guess Maths -I. In HSC , we used to start off...blindly scoring the 2s and the3s (marks) I mean..and within no time one wud have touched 50 marks. Lke a typical 20-20 batting wicket. Decided to use the same strategy for Engg. But engg. exams are like green ffast bowler wickets. You can never score an 80/100. One must be satisfied with a 60.
Struggled big time in Semester-1. I was sure of failing in 4 subjects. Finally the reuslts were out.
My marks in those 4 subjects I was fearing were...40,42,48 and 50. Close shave.

And then came NITIE. Suposedly the resort, where people come for a 2 year vacation with a 400% increase in salary. I swear I never even thought of giving a re-test here.
Inspite of having many failed candidates around me. There was Batty...who failed in a paper inspite of the professor spelling the entire paper in class before hand!! Can u beat that!
or there was Ramesh...who had the audacity to fail in an HR paper. We laughed and laughed...mocked and ridiculed them on evey single occasion.
Then came module-6 . The last module. The mere formality of a module. "Its only for placements". There was a prof...Prof. L. (I cant name him since the reuslts are still awaited). He was the most chilled out prof in NITIE. No attendance hassles... gives 90+ to all, and moreover takes 2 subjects! Everyone in class applied for his subjects. Nearly 130 students. He refused to teach such a huge batch. A filter system was applied. Only those people getting 76+ in Supply Chain management subject would be able to opt for Adv. Supply Chain Management.

I had 77 I guess. "Im so lucky"!!! Yahoo...Now one module of aaram. I attended 1 out of 14 classes...that too for a mid term...went into the test with oozing superconfidence...mocked the others (Shikhar will remember) for studying like a fattu and...
1 week back....
tring tring...tring tring...
Atul: hulllooooo
Mainaak: yar atlee ek bhaut buri khabar hai?
Atul: (yawning...he had called at 9 am !!)
Mainaak: I hope jo main bol raha hun wo jhooth nikle lekin...par...
Atul: arre bol na...
Mainaak: tu....
Atul: arre bolo bhai
Mainaak: tu ek aur baar check karle...
Atul: arre kyaaa!!
Mainaak: yaaar tu Adv. Supply Chain main fail ho gaya!!!

Moral of the story:
Life mein kuch cheezein first time hoti hai maamu